Ritual: Inviting Your Chakrub into Partnered Sex

Chakrubs have vibrational energy that invites you into an intimate shared connection. They are the blossoms of the mineralogical portion of the earth, and are incredible tools to accelerate self reflection, healing, and promote self love. But what happens when you’d like to include other lovers into your crystal relationship, turning it into a crystalline threeway or even an orgy….

You may decide to introduce your personal Chakrub into partnered play or choose a different Chakrub specifically for shared enjoyment. Depending on your intention, all Chakrubs can be wonderful tools for enhancing intimacy and strengthening sensual connections. We recommend using a condom over your Chakrub when sharing them with other partners. Safe sex measures should be used at all times, and if you’re not familiar with the current safe practises, you can brush up here first.

This ritual will help harmonize your energies to maximize spiritual and erotic potential. It works to clear the energy, focus your intent, and infuse the crystal with your shared magic.

If your partner(s) are new to using Chakrubs, this is a wonderfully inclusive introductory ritual to enjoy together. Even if they don’t completely understand the significance and meaning behind crystals in the way you do, it’s a beautiful step to show they are willing to learn and take this journey with you. You may feel a little shy or hesitant about including them and that’s okay too. Breathe through any feelings of discomfort and remind yourself that it’s important to learn about your partner and their interests while respecting your differences. We don’t need to have all the same hobbies and values, and in fact the differences can really enrich our lives if we are open to learning about them. If you are taking this journey with someone who is a little uncertain, it can be a nice energy exchange to spend some time engaging in one of their hobbies or interests that you don’t have a lot of experience in. Remember, variety is the spice of life.

Preparing For Your Ritual

It is a good idea to clear the energy of your home, yourselves, and your Chakrub before engaging in this ritual. This can be done with sacred smoke such as sage, palo santo, frankincense, cedar, or my personal favorite, sweetgrass. Bear in mind that all plants, but particularly sage and palo santo, should be mindfully, ethically, and sustainably sourced. You can also clean your home in preparation for the ritual with a cinnamon broom, florida water, or even a flower essence. Selenite is a wonderful crystal to use for cleansing, as it radiates light energy, promotes positivity, and pure honesty. Selenite helps to cleanse the energy of other stones, as well as its environment, which makes it a wonderful addition to this ritual. Drawing a shared ritual bath can also be a beautiful way to cleanse, ground, and connect energetically.

If the above tools are not available to you, you can also cleanse through visualization by imagining a white, gold, or rainbow light flowing over you and removing any impurities from your energetic field.

You might like to change your sheets, scatter some rose petals over your bed, wear some fancy lingerie or the sweats you feel the most comfortable in. Set the scene for your experience in a way that feels authentic and personal to you.

Communicating Intentions

With any ritual it is very important to have a clear intention, and with partnered work you’ll want to make sure it’s a shared intention. Spend some time communicating with your lover(s) about what you’d like to create and manifest with this ritual. Are you hoping to conceive? Perhaps deepen the passion in the relationship? Will you be exploring your sexuality with a third partner? Deepening trust? Whatever your intentions may be, make sure they are honest, authentic, and coming from a place of love and respect.

It’s a great idea to write down your shared intentions on a piece of paper, making notes of key themes that arise, and then condense it into a one or two line mantra. Intention setting is a vital step, so take your time and breathe through any discomfort, vulnerable communication is very important here.

Beginning Your Ritual

You might begin your ritual with some eye gazing, breath syncing, or even just snuggling and spooning, whatever practice helps you feel the most grounded. It’s important to communicate openly about your needs and desires during this ritual to help your partner(s) understand what feels best for you. Remember, no one is a mind reader, so try and treat this as a fun experiment together, exploring how to bring the most pleasure to the experience. Remove the goal of orgasm, and instead try and feel the most pleasure possible in every moment. You might use a stop light system, where green indicates active consent and to continue, yellow means to back off or that something needs to be adjusted, and red means all sexual activity should stop.

When choosing your Chakrub for this practise, reflect on what your ideal shape might be, considering if you’d like to use your Chakrub internally, externally, or both. An Original or Curved wand provides the flexibility of both external massage and penetration. An Anal Plug offers the potential of double penetration for additional energetic stimulation. A Cock Ring can be a great way to introduce light bondage and increase sensation. There are so many amazing options, and you should allow your heart to guide your choice.

Explore

Now that your space is clear and your energies are aligned with your crystal, you can explore the landscape of each others’ bodies in your magical crystalline sex-ploration. A beautiful place to start your journey together is to begin with sensual massages, slowly working luscious oils onto each others’ bodies and using your Chakrub as a massaging wand. Not limited to only internal play, Chakrubs are beautiful tools for external massage. They can be rolled along the skin for a gentle soothing sensation, or the end can be used for a more focused massage.

You might enjoy using some eye gazing and breath syncing techniques during a delicious genital massage to heighten both the emotional connection and your pleasure. Deep breathing can increase circulation, boosting blood flow to the genitals.

It can be tantalizing to incorporate temperature play into the sexual journey, perhaps by cooling down your Chakrub in the refrigerator or under running water before beginning your session. You might like to bring in a bowl of ice water to occasionally dip your Chakrub into, slowly letting the cool water fall onto your partner’s chest and licking off each splash with your warm tongue for a delicious temperature contrast.

There are so many erogenous zones to explore with your Chakrub, fingers, and your mouth, so experiment with different combinations to ravish every curve, dip, and hollow of each others’ bodies. Tantalize the nipples by slowly stroking your Chakrub in slow circles over the chest, gradually making them smaller and smaller as you get closer to the nipple. Using a Rose Quartz wand or breast massager on the chest will magnify the loving and heart healing energy.

Gently massage your partner’s inner thighs with the Chakrub, slowly moving closer to their genitals before moving away once more. Slowly build the sexual energy through this energetic pressure and release.

Once you and your partner(s) are ready, move back to the genitals, softly tracing your path with delicate kisses leading the way. Vulva owners might enjoy a clitoral massage with a Red Jasper Chakrub, which can bring grounding and healing energy to the sacral and root chakras, where your sensuality and primal sexual energy live. Begin by gently massaging the entire vulva and don’t forget about the mons pubis, the often neglected rounded tissue above the pubic bone. Finish the vulva massage with some clitoral stimulation to prepare for penetration. Don’t forget to use a condom if you decide to try penetration with your Chakrub.

Chakrub anal plugs can be a deliciously grounding tool if you’re interested in multi-stimulation. The anus contains a complex web of muscles and sensitive nerve endings with high energetic potential. Stimulating this area with intimate, sensual massage can lead to a deeply expansive, recalibrating experience. A rose quartz root brings in loving heart energy while a jade root nurtures the nervous system and heals emotional wounds. The obsidian root provides energetic protection while stimulating the root chakra.

Regardless of how you engage in the sexual portion of this ritual, aim to stay as present as possible, enjoying the experience without expectations, and returning to your breath as a way to come home to your body if needed. This is your journey, and should be unique to you, without any pressure or obligation.

Aftercare

Your exploration doesn’t have to end in orgasms, and it doesn’t have to end because of an orgasm. Conclude this ritual when you feel the energy starting to naturally wind down and you feel you’ve fully explored your intentions. Allow yourselves all the time and space you need to come down from the experience. I highly recommend snuggling under some soft blankets and eye gazing together. Skin to skin contact through spooning and slow gentle strokes over the body can be really helpful in providing an added boost of oxytocin and prolactin, which can mitigate the dopamine crash that some people experience after heightened sexual energy.

Once you feel ready, drink some water to rehydrate and perhaps eat some fresh fruit to get a little spike in the blood sugar as you both gradually come back into the body. Once everyone feels grounded and present, it can be a beautiful practice to talk openly about how the experience was for everyone involved. It helps strengthen the intimacy and bond while providing valuable insight into your partner’s desires and preferences.

Once the ritual feels complete to you both, you can thank the universe for lending you its divine energy and then visualize your energy gently returning to within your heart space. It can be helpful to imagine any excess energy flowing down your spine and back into the ground, both nourishing and expressing gratitude to the earth.

On the practical side of things, as you are packing up your ritual items and cleaning your Chakrub for safety and hygiene, it’s a wonderful idea to wish it a little ‘thank you’ in your mind.

Feature Image by @retroaspect

Author: Isabella Frappier
About: Isabella Frappier is an Australian ex-pat living in LA, who swapped gumtrees for palm trees. She’s a writer and a holistic Sexuality Doula, who specializes in body literacy, sexual sovereignty, and BDSM. She is also a host on the popular new Sex Magic Podcast. Follow her adventures on Instagram @bellatookaphoto.
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