Love is a universal feeling, but the ways in which we express it vary greatly depending on the individual, their personal values, and how love was modelled to them in childhood. Understanding our personal love languages can help us be more discerning about how we practice self-care and the types of romantic connections we invest our energy into. It can also help us understand the best ways to show our family, friends, and partners how much we care.
The five love languages are generally defined as:
1. Words of affirmation – This could range from verbal validation to complements to whispered sweet nothings. A person who prefers this love language wants their partner to be vocal about how they feel.
2. Gifts – This doesn’t always mean spending money – gifts can also include homemade cards and crafts.
3. Acts of Service – Doing something “just because” you know your partner would appreciate it; could range from cooking a meal to doing laundry to getting up in the middle of the night with the baby to give your partner a break.
4. Quality time – This could be an elaborately planned date or a relaxing night in, the important part is that you are together and that you’re giving your partner the personal attention that they crave.
5. Physical touch – Reinforce your love with hugs and kisses, PDA, and by initiating sensual and sexual contact.
You can find out how your love languages rank by taking this test.
Another hint for decoding your personal love language is to look at your Venus sign in your natal birth chart. Though not as prominent as the sun or moon, Venus can often be seen as a sparkling pink star in our morning and evening skies. The placement of this planet at your time of birth can reveal insights into your values, how you relate to others, and what you find beautiful. Visit astro.com and enter your birth info to learn your Venus sign.
Venus in Aries
As the sign that kicks off the zodiac, Aries is driven, passionate, and can be single-minded in their pursuits. People with Venus in Aries are often impulsive in love and can be stubborn in their attachments — even when they’re not reciprocated. They are likely to show their love through acts of service and though they might not ask for it, they’ll appreciate when their partners reciprocate their gestures and do small things for them just because.
Venus in Taurus
Taurus is at home in Venus, meaning that you can look to this planet’s traditional traits for hints as to what gets their pulse racing. Taurus is the sign of luxury and those with Venus in Taurus love to be spoiled with gifts. As an earth sign, Taurus is all about physical pleasures and comforts – win them over with grand gestures and gifts that tantalize the senses. Physical touch is also likely to rank high for this sensual sign.
Venus in Gemini
Symbolized by twins, Gemini is a sign of contradictions and connections. It’s ruled by air so the mental realm is where it is most at home. Those with Venus in Gemini are likely to appreciate words of affirmation and will gravitate towards partners who can keep up with their quick-moving minds and find unique ways to verbally express their love.
Venus in Cancer
Ruled by the moon, Cancer is a intuitive, protective, and nurturing water sign that places great importance on their home environment and the select group of loved ones who are welcome within it. People with Venus in Cancer are likely to appreciate quality time and won’t be too picky about how you spend it (Okay, that’s a lie, they’ll almost always prefer a cozy night in to a wild night on the town).
Venus in Leo
Ruled by the sun, Leo has a presence that is hard to miss. They gravitate to the spotlight and if you’re not careful you can get lost in their shadow. Keep Venus in Leo’s fire burning with passionate physical touch. Remember that this is a sign that loves drama and bores easily; a lively sex life is one stage they’ll gladly share.
Venus in Virgo
Virgo is a sign that delights in the details and excels at following through. Symbolized by the maiden or the virgin, it’s no wonder they get a reputation for being conservative and standoffish. Venus in Virgo is not the most romantic placement and acts of service are a sure way to win over this determined earth sign. Eliminating items from their to-do list is one way to free up time for some shared intimacy.
Venus in Libra
While Taurus embodies Venus’ love of luxury and sensual pleasures, Libra reflects Venusian qualities in how they prioritize harmony in their relationships. Their need to keep the peace can sometimes lead to passive aggressiveness, but rest assured that it can all be smoothed over through quality time spent together. Libra has a tendency to be a little indecisive so they’ll love it if you can take the lead on planning activities!
Venus in Scorpio
Perhaps the most mysterious of the zodiac signs, Scorpio gravitates towards love for its transcendental qualities. Scorpio knows that when experienced fully, love has the potential to transform and awaken our being. Venus is in its detriment in Scorpio, meaning that it can be difficult for those with this placement to express what they need from their partners. Physical touch is one way to help those with Venus in Scorpio release control and tune into the moment.
Venus in Sagittarius
Sagittarius is the sign of the archer and as such, they are constantly looking forward, seeking expansion, and challenging themselves through new experiences. It’s difficult to keep the attention of someone with Venus in Sagittarius, but you’ll stand a better chance by giving them heartfelt, one-of-a-kind gifts that play into their passions. Prove that you can keep up with them and they just might keep you around.
Venus in Capricorn
Symbolized by the sea goat that is able to scale peaks unreachable by most, Capricorn is perhaps the most ambitious of the zodiac signs. When they set their sights on love, you can rest assured that they’re in it for the long haul. People with Venus in Capricorn will love hearing words of affirmation that validate their hard work and reassure them that it hasn’t gone unnoticed. Acts of service are also likely to win favor with this placement.
Venus in Aquarius
Symbolized by the water bearer, Aquarius is an air sign that uses logic and rational to process complicated feelings. Rather than immerse themselves in emotions, they prefer to step back to gain a deeper sense of the big picture. Those with Venus in Aquarius are highly creative and value partners who can inspire them in and out of the bedroom. Physical touch is a great way to turn off their mental chatter, but words of affirmation are a close second, especially if you can find a unique way of saying how you feel.
Venus in Pisces
Pisces might be the most relationship-oriented out of all the zodiac signs. This dreamy water sign knows that our purpose here on earth is to connect with and love one another and they won’t fight that natural impulse. There’s a case to be made that all of the love languages are Venus in Pisces’ favorite, but if they had to choose one it’d likely be quality time, with physical touch following close behind.