As we learn to embrace the dark or “ugly” side of our sexuality, we may find ourselves drawn to unexpected kinks or fetishes. Though intimidating at first, don’t be afraid to chase the rabbit and follow your curiosities to unexpected places. You never know where you might end up…
The weapon-inspired aesthetics of the Shadow Line make it a natural fit for power exchange dynamics, and with new toys geared towards male prostate stimulation, it’s the perfect excuse to begin exploring female domination.
Power exchange refers to a consensual agreement wherein one person relinquishes power to the other. The partner who retains the power is often referred to as the Dominant or Top, while the partner who surrenders it is called the submissive or bottom. Female domination, often shortened to femdom, is a variant of power exchange where the woman takes on the dominant role. There are many degrees to which this can be explored; for some it may mean negotiating a specific scene where the female partner will be in control, for others it may be a lifestyle where the male partner lives in subservience to the woman.
Femdom has the potential to be healing and for women it can help them reclaim power they’ve felt was systematically taken from them due to their gender or process their experiences living in a patriarchal society. For men, femdom can be a way of atoning for their complicity in these systems and cultivating greater appreciation for the divine feminine. Notice whether practicing femdom causes you to feel more empowered in your everyday life or changes your perspective towards women in positions of power.
You might like to call on the qualities of a powerful female archetype or goddess, such as the brave warrior Athena or the ferocious Kali. You can incorporate role play by embodying an authoritative figure such as a principal or queen.
To begin, have a discussion with your partner about why you are interested in a female-led power exchange and what you hope to gain from the experience. You can talk about what excites you, any apprehensions, and hard limits. Establish a safe word in the event that the scene needs to be unexpectedly cut short.
If it’s your first time dominating someone else, you might be a little nervous or overwhelmed. Remind yourself of the satisfaction gained from serving others and be grateful that this person has entrusted you with their submission.
Sensory deprivation can be an effective way of conquering your nerves. After all, if your partner can’t see you then they won’t know how nervous you are. By forcing them to rely on other senses you will also heighten their overall experience. A satin blindfold will feel soft against the skin and leave them vulnerable to your whims.
From there, you might try restricting them further by fastening the Talu ball gag around their head. Named after the lesser-known Talu chakra, wearing this ball gag will link the root and throat chakras with its grounding properties. While wearing it, you can challenge your submissive by having them communicate with you in nonverbal ways.
Now is the time to be selfish — what do you desire? What will bring you pleasure? Remember, you are in control and in this moment your submissive has no greater goal than to serve you.
Perhaps you’d like to lie back and relax while you instruct your submissive on how to please you with the Xagu Curve or Diletto. This will challenge their attention to detail if they are still blindfolded or wearing the Talu gag. You can guide their head by tugging on the stainless steel chains. Have them kiss and caress you and notice how the obsidian ball feels grazing against your skin.
Decide how you want your submissive to experience pleasure. It could be something that’s earned through service to you or you may wish them to articulate or beg for their release.
Cock rings create a choking sensation by restricting blood flow to the shaft of the penis, resulting in a more engorged member. Play with the different sizes and slide them up and down your partner’s shaft, noticing when their pleasure becomes discomfort and what brings them closer to release. You might wish to have them pleasure themselves or incorporate your hands or mouth for additional sensations.
As intensity builds, engage the root chakra further by inserting The Root or The Rokh. Anal play can be intimidating for many and because you’re dealing with a very sensitive, protected part of the body, you might want to remove the Talu so that your partner can communicate more clearly. If you’re experienced in this arena, you might feel comfortable allowing the ball gag to remain on, only removing it during climax to heighten the release.
From there, you might like to finish your session by mounting your partner with the cock ring still on and The Root or Rokh still inserted. Pay attention to how these toys impact your energy as you take your partner inside of you.
Engage in some aftercare through loving touch and share your feelings about the session. Compare your experiences and talk about what was released.
As you explore female domination, you may wish to focus your sessions on a singular item from the Shadow Line or none at all. It’s important to note that it is the intention, not the item itself that makes an act submissive or Dominant. You can just as easily be on the receiving end of The Rokh or Root while still preserving your dominance. Let your journey be organic and follow your impulses.